Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Relationship Advice for Extraverts & Introverts

Friday, December 14th, 2012

A couple of months ago, I spent eight days with a charming Extravert.  As an Introvert myself having spent the past 23 years researching, teaching, and writing about personality type, I was very surprised at the feelings and reactions that came up for me during these eight days.  It reminded me of how important it is to understand the Energy behavior dimension of personality type. 

The PEOPLE Process
Training Manual & Participant Package

I’m not sure I’ve ever spent this much time with an Extravert - eight days, from 6:30am to 9:00pm each day!  My husband, who is now deceased, was an Introvert and my parents and three siblings were Introverts with one brother being an Extravert.

Don’t get me wrong. I have tremendous respect and admiration for Extraverts.  They have that wonderful ability to be at ease in all situations that involve interaction with other people.  They can walk up to anyone with total ease and introduce themselves and not experience that gut wrenching feeling that perhaps they’re annoying or interrupting someone. Extraverts seem to exhibit a love for all mankind.  We Introverts feel that same love for all mankind, it’s just that we don’t show it.  It’s all inside.

By the end of this eight-day period I was exhausted from being “on” all of the time!  The mistake I made was not taking time out for myself during the day to “recharge” my batteries.  It took me several weeks to recover. Adding to the intensity of the situation was the fact that I was just getting to know this individual which, of course, added to the energy drain.

I’m thankful for this experience, however, because it reminded me of how important it is, in fact vital, to understand the difference between Extraverts and Introverts and give ourselves permission to “take care” of our energy.

Without this understanding you could think something is the matter with each other when, in fact, it is completely because of the differences in how you “gather your energy.”

This knowledge is vital for couples to understand!  Many people marry without ever knowing about one another’s personality type and then are surprised when they have conflicts.  Most of the conflicts can be solved by applying a knowledge and understanding of one another’s type.

How We Get & Direct Our Energy - E/I - Extravert or Introvert

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

E- — ————————-X——————————I

The first dimension of behavior in psychological type theory is how our Energyis gathered.

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

Each behavior is on a continuum with a preference for one or the other, the degree of which falling somewhere along the continuum. A person could be a ?strong? Extravert meaning he?d fall completely to the left of the continuum or a person could be more towards the middle, meaning closer towards the fulcrum on the continuum. We are, however, one or the other not both. Even though we use both preferences throughout our day, we don?t use each preference with equal ease. Our inborn preference is our natural strength.?

Extraverts are energized from the outside world of people, places and things and Introverts are energized by their internal world of ideas, emotions and impressions. Extraverts are energized by being around people and Introverts are drained by being around groups of people too much and need time alone to recharge. Extraverts often feel they are the one to initiate contact while Introverts seem to hold back from initiating contact.

This preference is not gender based ? in other words there is no difference in the percentage of men and women who are Extraverts or Introverts. It is the preference for one or the other that influences behavior, not the gender.

Extraverts often tackle many projects at once and in their work style prefer an ?open door policy? and are seen out walking around the office. Introverts discourage interruptions, prefer to work alone and like to immerse themselves in a project. Extraverts are ?action oriented? taking on many different tasks at a time and Introverts prefer to work at a steadier pace, thinking through how they will do the job before they begin.

Extraverts like to think out loud and really need to talk something through in order to understand it, while Introverts prefer to carefully think things through and even mull them over. This doesn?t mean that Introverts are shy. To the contrary, their process is internal and observational.

All of this information seems very straightforward and helpful and so we may ask ourselves, ?So what?? Why are you spending time talking about this in an article? I?ve observed a lot of friction and stress between people in business and personal relationships that can be easily solved with an understanding and use of psychological type theory.

For instance, regarding a couple I know that is on the verge of divorce (he is an Introvert and she is an Extravert), a lot of their communication problems could be solved by an understanding and application of personality type theory.

The husband (whom I?ll call Art) is an Introvert. Art is in business for himself and works alone out of the home. His business is successful requiring intense concentration and focus as well as accuracy for large amounts of data. Art cares deeply about people and tends to keep these opinions to himself. Art is a very private person.

The wife (Mary) is an Extravert and a ?stay at home? mom who is very active in her children?s life and their religion. Mary tends to take on a lot of projects at once and likes to provide service for lots of people, taking her from the home a lot. When Mary is involved in a project the whole family and house is involved, including the dog. If someone calls that needs assistance, Mary jumps in the car and is off to provide. Mary is happiest surrounded by lots of people and serves as the Activities Director for their Church requiring being a hostess for functions of up to 350+ people at a time.

Art feels unappreciated by Mary and Mary thinks Art is too harsh because he seems to get stressed out and lose his temper easily. How could an understanding of the behavior dimension of how our Energy is gathered assist Mary and Art in having a better relationship and eliminate a lot of the tension in their relationship?

For one thing, just knowing that there is a difference between how each of them gathers their energy and what that means will be amazingly freeing in how they interact. The common way people interact is to project their way of behaving onto others. We look through our lens of behavior and expectation at others and expect and/or judge them if they don?t behave likewise.

If Art was informed about Extraverts and how they are energized outside of themselves, he would know that Mary requires interaction with others in order to relate to the world. He would understand that if Mary spends too much time alone, she can get depressed. And, if Mary was informed about Introverts, she would understand that Art requires time alone to plan his day, work his plan and ?think? about his work. Mary would know that Art finds it tiring and draining to constantly be around and interacting with a group of people. He likes to plan and schedule the time he spends socially. Mary would understand that if Art is pushed into too much Extraverting, he is likely to become stressed-out and lose his patience/temper.

I?m an Introvert and didn?t find this out until I was in my early 40′s. As I learned more about my preference for being energized as an Introvert, I began to manage my activities making sure that I had time alone for reflection and thinking things through. I suffered from tension headaches all of my life that always lasted two to three days at a time ? every week. When I became educated about type, I realized that all of the ?Extraverting? I was doing, because I thought that was what you were supposed to do in life, created physical stress and was the reason I was getting these crippling headaches. In fact, once I planned my interaction with people better, the headaches stopped. I haven?t had such a headache now in over a decade. And, my health is excellent in large part, because of being able to manage my activities through the knowledge of how I gather Energy and making sure that I don?t overextend myself through my interaction with other people.

There are four behavior dimensions in personality type: how our Energy is focused, how we gather Information, how we make Decisions, and how we take Action. Energy is the first dimension and all four are equally important. Having knowledge and understanding of our preferences and the preferences in each of the four dimensions of our loved ones and associates can profoundly affect the quality of our life and relationships.

The percentage of Extraverts is 50% and the percentage of Introverts is 50% in the United States.

Personality Type and Careers

Friday, November 16th, 2012

A thorough understanding of your personality type can be a tremendous?guide that can help you to:???

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

  • Choose a new job or career
  • Change your job or career
  • Increase your satisfaction with your present career??????

Your personality type can assist you in developing your career goals and establishing a??process to reach those goals. When you use Side 1 of The PEOPLE Process Wheel to decide your four-letter type, you can study the Profile Sheet that is within the participant package for your type and gain a thorough understanding of your strengths ? your unique gifts.

The more you understand about yourself, the better your decisions will be and the more effectively you will be able to implement those decisions. Your personality preferences can help you decide what you want to do, how to approach that field and get what you want.

To briefly review, personality type theory was developed by Dr. Carl Jung in the early 1900s. Dr. Jung sought to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung espoused that the differences in people?s behavior was a result from people?s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. As people act on these tendencies, they develop patterns of behavior.???

We have different energy levels, notice different aspects of the world around us, make decisions based on different criteria and structure our lives in different ways depending on what makes us most comfortable. These characteristics combine to create the whole personality. Dr. Jung identified four dimensions that make up our personality type ? and these are part of our DNA ? they are inborn traits.

The four dimensions are: Energy, Information, Decision, Action, and are used by us hundreds of times a day. Each dimension consists of two opposite poles. Picture each dimension as a continuum with a mid-point in the center. Each of us has a natural inborn preference (strength) for one side of the continuum or the other in each of the four dimensions.

Turn The PEOPLE Process Wheel to Side 2 and review how someone should treat you in the four windows that match your four letter type. This will give you insight into the types of work and surroundings that will be most fulfilling for you. For instance, if in the Energy behavior dimension you chose Introvert you will see that the way you prefer to be treated is:

  • Relate one-on-one
  • Value their need for privacy
  • Allow them time to change focus
  • Ask questions to draw them out
  • Do not pressure for an instant response

This tells you that you like to work alone and don?t need a lot of supervision. You?re great at putting things together behind the scenes.

However, if you chose Extravert in the Energy behavior dimension, you?ll find that you like to have a lot of interaction with others and you want them to:

  • Listen attentively
  • Be actively responsive
  • Be energetic & enthusiastic
  • Support their need to communicate
  • Recognize their need for social interaction

Extraverts like to be able to bounce ideas off of others and get immediate feedback. They would be very frustrated working all alone in a cubicle on a project by themselves.

In the Information behavior dimension, if you chose Sensing as your preference, you?ll find that you have skills in dealing with facts and details and when receiving information from someone you prefer that they:

  • Be orderly and organized
  • Show facts with evidence
  • Be direct and to the point
  • Draw on your experience
  • Be practical because you are

If you chose Intuition in the Information behavior dimension, you are terrific at coming up with creative solutions, marketing direction and ?out of the box? ideas and when receiving information you prefer they:

  • Give you an overview
  • Have a vision of the future
  • Appeal to your imagination
  • Encourage your need to explore
  • Allow for the expansion of ideas

When it comes to making a Decision, a Thinking person is logical, steps back and objectifies the decision, preferring to be treated this way:

  • Expect questions
  • Use logic
  • Be calm and reasonable
  • Be brief, concise, yet thorough
  • Present information for their analysis

A Feeling person personalizes decisions asking, ?How does this affect me and the people involved?? This person likes you to remember to:

  • Be honest and sincere
  • Be personal and friendly
  • Share with them your feelings
  • Encourage them to share their feelings
  • Allow them time to know and trust you

In the Action behavior dimension, the Judging person likes to control their environment and prefers that you:

  • Don?t disturb their order
  • Be prepared and deliberate
  • Value their time because they do
  • Finalize whenever & wherever possible
  • Take their deadlines seriously

And, the Perceiving person values spontaneity above all and prefers that you:

  • Be open to options & changes
  • Use variety in your approach
  • Let them set their own deadlines
  • Make use of their resourcefulness
  • Encourage possibility-thinking

Does this give you an idea of how to approach finding out your strengths and preferred way of being treated so that you can decide on the career that best suits you? Continue studying Side 2 of the Wheel, determining your strengths and preferred way of being treated by others. Once you have analyzed this information, identify the types of careers that include your preferences and strengths ? the way you like to be treated and are most comfortable.

On the flip side of the Profile Sheet that matches your four-letter type, are a few of the careers that are suited for your strengths. Take a look at these as they will give you a basis of thinking about and identifying other rewarding types of work.

 

How To Measure The Mix - Teambuilding 101

Monday, November 5th, 2012

Excerpts from The TYPE Reporter, Issue No. 4

The TYPE Reporter is a newsletter about your personality type, and how it influences you in all the stages of life.?You can subscribe on the website or by contacting Susan Scanlon, INFJ, Editor, 703-764-5370.)

HOW TO MEASURE THE MIX????????????????????????

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

by Susan Scanlon

I decided to do an issue on ?team building? because I?d heard that term used often among the people who take the MBTI? into the workplace. There?s no doubt about it, teamwork is a popular subject in organization development circles.

But teamwork was not an idea that excited me at first. In my fantasies, the individual does great things, not the group. I used to cheer on the heroes in the novels of Ayn Rand, who triumphed against that symbol of mediocrity ? the committee.

In the few experiences I?ve had working with groups, the argument and discussion went on and on, very little got done, and I was so busy agreeing or disagreeing with others that there was no chance for me to listen to what my own best thoughts were.

I?m an American and an Introvert, so it wasn?t going to be easy to convince me that I could produce a better product if I had ?a wide mix of people? messing around with it first.

But I?ve listened now to many team members and team consultants and I realize that they?re talking about a different kind of team than Ayn Rand?s or the groups I?ve worked with. They?re talking about a team that can enhance the effectiveness of the individual, that really does improve the final product, and is absolutely essential for success in this very complex and competitive world.

They never played down the difficulty of creating a team that is diverse yet able to work together well, but they made teamwork sound just as dramatic as tales of individual heroism, and worth the work.

From dozens of interviews, my team and I selected six team stories. These stories illustrated some of the more common problems a team might have, and how the MBTI? can help. We looked for messages in these stories, and from the messages we came up with six questions you might ask yourself about your own team?

?The Mix??????????????????????????????????????????????????? How To Make It? Work

?1. Does your team have a good mix of types?Fill in a type table with the types of our team members. Are all the eight preferences represented? Do you have at least one member who is an ST, SF, NT and NF?????????????????????2. If your team does not have a good mix of types, who?s missing?Don?t stop at saying you?re missing an ST. Make a list of all the kinds of input an ST might bring to your team. List the ?information? that is not available to the team.3. If your team does not have a good mix of types, what can you do to compensate for it? You can hire people in, you can seek outside opinions, or you can invent a team member and think for him ? ?Would an N be able to see the big picture in all of this?? ?Would an S be able to see a practical use for it?? ?What else would a P want to talk about before we make a decision?? ? 4. Does your team have a positive attitude toward differences?Very often, just the new perspective of the type theory is enough to smooth out a team?s problems considerably.????????5. Does everyone on your team contribute their preferences?Are all the Intuitives really sharing their Intuitive perceptions? Do the S?s feel free to express their doubts that something will work, or are they afraid of being called a ?stick in the mud?? If our team isn?t benefiting from all the viewpoints represented, they need to work on creating an atmosphere of trust and acceptance. Or they can try to deliberately draw out people?s preferences. (?I need to run this by you for your Sensing? says the manager.)6. Is your team leader open to the contribution of all the members? The team leader can have an enormous influence on whose opinion gets heard and whose opinion gets acted on. It?s important that the team have an impartial leader, or even better, one who knows the positive potential of each member and can draw the group?s attention to that.
???????????????????????? THE TYPE REPORTER TEAM DIAGNOSTIC

A TEAM NEEDS A GOOD MIX OF TYPES

Friday, October 26th, 2012

Excerpts from The TYPE Reporter, Issue No. 4
www.typereporter.com

by Tom Carskadon, INFP

Sometimes folk wisdom is right on, but sometimes it?s so contradictory that it?s no help at all. Do ?opposites attract,? or do ?birds of a feather flock together?? This is an important question not just in friendship, love, and marriage, but also in team building.?

The PEOPLE Process Trainer’s Manual & Participant’s Package

A large body of research in psychology suggests that in general, we are most attracted to people who are fairly similar to us. Isabel Myers concluded that we tend to favor people similar in type to ourselves, more often marrying them, for instance; but that when it comes to team building, a well rounded mix of types is the most effective and desirable.

This idea has been part of type lore for decades; but is there actual research evidence to back it up? A few years ago Bruce Blaylock, a professor at Eastern Kentucky University, did a major study in which 17 four-person teams of students competed with each other over a month in a sophisticated and realistic simulated production exercise.

Some of the teams included a wide variety of types; other teams had all members with the same type or very similar types. All were objectively evaluated according to their total effectiveness. The teams composed of a broad range of types clearly and significantly outperformed the teams with little or no variety in types. Writing in Volume 6 of Research in Psychological Type, Dr. Blaylock notes that no particular type preference was predictive of success; instead, teams with a thorough mixture of types outperformed virtually any single-type or similar-type team.

This is one area where type theory and type research mesh very well. In forming teams, it may be tempting to choose people similar to ourselves ? and this could be a special trap for feeling types who value harmony so highly ? but even in tasks that seem ?made? for a particular type, the best results are likely to come from a well rounded mix of types.

(At the time of writing this article, Tom Carskadon,INFP, was a professor of psychology at Mississippi State University and editor of the journal RESEARCH IN PSYCHOLOGICAL TYPE.)

The Five Relationship Attributes Necessary For Successful Leadership

Friday, October 12th, 2012

Leadership is the ability to inspire and motivate others. Each one of us is required to exhibit leadership capabilities every day, in our professional and personal lives?a mother inspiring her children to do their best in school; an HR Manager attempting to lift the morale of the company; a politician asking for our vote; a president of a corporation asking management to increase productivity. It doesn?t matter what the size of the organization is, understanding your personal leadership strengths can assist in accomplishing your goals.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

In a study of Leadership, Emotional Intelligence and Personality Type conducted in 2004 by Richmond, Rollin and Brown, the findings were:

  • The five most important leadership attributes were identified as Vision, Strategic Thinking, Relationship Building, Execution and People Development.
  • Emotional Intelligence attributes are essential to successful leadership, especially the ?relationship management? attributes?Vision, Relationship Building and People Development.
  • Of the remaining attributes, all the Emotional Intelligence competencies are more important than all the general leadership attributes, such as External/market Orientation, Financial Acumen, and Planning.

The Center for Creative Leadership in studying why managers derail on their way to becoming executives found four themes that emerged:

  1. Problems with interpersonal relationships
  2. Failure to meet business objectives
  3. Failure to build and lead a team
  4. Inability to change or adapt during a transition

In short, difficulties with ?relationship management? attributes (vision, relationship building and people development) were identified as prime contributors to the failure of otherwise promising executive careers.

Personality Type and Leadership

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? identifies common differences among normal people. ?The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent? based on differences in the way individuals prefer to perceive information and reach conclusions (Myers, et al, 1998).?

Research shows that personality type explains some of the variation in leadership behavior and perceived effectiveness. A brief summary includes:

  • Leaders come from all 16 personality types, however, nearly every study of leaders by type finds TJs over-represented relative to other types.
  • Research shows that leaders of different types focus on different aspects of their roles and also choose to handle the same activities differently.

Leadership studies usually indicate that most corporate leaders exhibit TJ preferences. For example, 58% of participants in Center for Creative Leadership programs prefer TJ (MBTI Manual, p. 327). TJ leaders ?are considered tough minded, executive, analytical?leaders who communicate their confidence in the?primacy of focusing on logical outcomes. TJs may be seen by others as?too quick to judge and act, and tactless in their style of communication?? (MBTI Manual, pps. 52-53).

Implications of these studies for Leaders

Leaders can use the findings from the above studies to gain the following insights into what their executives, and peers may be expecting from them:

  • Assess and increase your effectiveness in building relationships, developing people, and thinking strategically.
  • To excel at the highly-ranked ?relationship management? attributes, develop your Emotional Intelligence capabilities such as Self-Awareness, Empathy, and Adaptability.
  • Consider your effectiveness in providing vision and inspiration, executing work to plan, taking initiative, and fostering teamwork.
  • When seeking to influence others, be aware of differences in what each of you values in leaders.

Leadership Styles of the 16 Personality Types

Type: Motivates Others By:
ISTJ Providing precise, accurate and timely information
ISFJ Presenting factual information personally to influence people to understand the job that needs to be done
INTJ Describing end result desired, by connecting actions, intentions and desired outcomes
INFJ Building enduring relationships through cooperation and acting on values that promote well-being
ISTP Using tangible goals to get things moving
INTP Talking about theory and discussing outcomes
ISFP Encouraging others to take action in an easy-going manner
INFP Creating alternative solutions
ESTP Quickly acting to solve problems for others
ESFP Relating to people at a personal level to get them involved
ENTP Using their problem-solving skills
ENFP Engaging with others to share ideas, & brainstorming
ESTJ Using specific facts and a systematic method
ENTJ Systematic & logical action; ideas and global issues
ESFJ Practical, hands-on action, moving toward completion of a project
ENFJ Energizing with their ?assertive? and personable nature

Knowing yourself well and understanding how others function is fundamental to building strong relationships and effective leadership. Leadership is about behavior and the psychology of leadership as theorized by psychological type allows individuals to recognize their demonstrated behaviors as expressions of their type and to apply type theory as a way to enhance leader development.

Clearly, based on the stated desired leadership qualities, it?s easy to understand the importance a thorough knowledge of personality type can provide. Type is about ?relationship management? and ?people development.? To understand and apply type theory is to be able to motivate and lead others?including ourselves.

Personality Type & The Coaching Process

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

The application of personality type into the coaching process?both the person being coached and the type of other people in their life?is particularly valuable because you can identify and develop his or her strengths, assist them in recognizing blind spots and how to manage them and strategize a method for personal and career development.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Assessment Wheel

Step 1: Assess the Client?s Type
Guide the person through Side 1 of the The PEOPLE Process Wheel, explaining each of the four dimensions of behavior, the two preferences within each behavior dimension, and have them choose their four letter type.

Step 2: Determine Strengths and Challenges
By yourself, review the person?s type from the standpoint of their strengths as it relates to their personality type. Think through the description of their preferences on side 1 of the Wheel and determine which qualities are assets and which present the greatest challenge. Have the person answer the following questions:

  • As you read through the description of your personality type preferences, which ones seem like assets and which present the greatest challenges?
  • If someone wanted to have a positive relationship with you, what fundamental things about your type would they need to understand?
  • Which aspects of your psychological type are the most difficult for you to accept or change?
  • Which aspects of your type most often cause relationship problems between you and others?
  • How have your personality type preferences influenced your life and career?

Often conflicts between the person being coached and the people in their life comes from differences in preferences. Lead the person through the descriptions of all of the preferences on Side 1 of the Wheel: E-I, S-N, T-F, and J-P. Assist them in choosing the four-letter type of the person with which they are experiencing conflict from Side 1 of the Wheel.

Profile Sheets ? 16 Personality Types

Have the person choose their Profile Sheet and the Profile Sheet of the person with whom they are experiencing conflict from the package. Compare the individual descriptions in each of the categories and answer the following three questions on Side 2 of the Profile Sheet:

In what areas are you similar to this person?
In what areas are you different from this person?
In what areas can you improve your relations with this person?

When going through this exercise, the person is then able to step back and realize that behaviors are most often the result of each other?s inborn, personality type.

Use the following questions to guide discussion around areas they might need to address:

  • What contributions do you bring to the relationship?
  • Which of your habits might be irritating to the other?
  • What do you find valuable about each other?
  • What does the other do that bothers you?
  • What do you hope to achieve in resolving this conflict?

Step 3: Evaluate Individual Needs
Assist the person being coached in evaluating their needs through discussion of a series of questions:

  • What are some of your behaviors that seem to get in the way of having effective relationships with others?
  • What talents do you have that are especially helpful to others?
  • How would your spouse, boss, colleagues, or close friends briefly describe you?
  • What do you care most about in your life? What concerns you most?
  • What do you feel proud of and what concerns you about the way people at work treat one another?
  • What inspires or motivates you?
  • What kind of appreciation/recognition do you prefer? From whom? Under what circumstances?
  • What kind of criticism do you prefer? From whom? Under what circumstances?
  • Which work tasks do you pass on to others, ignore, or never get around to doing?
  • Tell me about a recent change you?ve experienced. How did you react? How did you cope with it?
  • Describe how you handle change.
  • What are your thoughts about conflict? What do you do to resolve it? How effective have your efforts been? Why?
  • Are there any questions I have not asked that we should discuss?

Step 4: Assess Skills and Interests
Lead the person through a discussion of the following four questions:

  • Things I like and do well
  • Things I don?t like but do well
  • Things I like but find difficult to do
  • Things I don?t like and struggle to do

Focus your discussion on things the person likes and does well. Those things the person doesn?t like and struggles with doing, identify as areas for coaching. Assist the person in developing ways to handle those things they don?t like and struggle with.

Step 5: Develop Your Action Plan
The key to successful coaching is identification of objectives, steps that will be taken, timelines and the desired results. To achieve this:

  • Have the person identify someone they trust that can help them practice the coaching suggestions
  • Develop specific action items and timelines. Establish accountability?such as how will the person know when they have reached a goal?
  • Encourage the person being coached to practice the behaviors in coaching sessions and then in ?real time.?
  • Suggest the person keep a journal where they record behaviors practiced and the results?who, what, when, and where. Discuss the results of the experiences practiced in the next coaching session.
  • Share personal insights about your own type and your potential interactions with other types as it relates to strengths and differences. Encourage person being coached to give details about how process is moving forward toward identified goals, needs and wants, and be clear about what is working.

Explore the Benefits of Humility in Business

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Leadership humility is rare and doesn?t necessarily enjoy the recognition it serves, says Wikus van Vuuren, a director at GIMT. ?Humility is unfortunately often perceived as a weakness in business when, in fact, it can be a tremendous asset.????

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

Humble leaders who openly understand and develop their weaknesses and capitalize on their strengths often create environments that encourage people to grow, which in turn grows the organization, he says.

?Some of the most successful organizations worldwide have leaders who inconspicuously ?stand out? due to their humble nature, rather than their arrogance and flamboyance,? Van Vuuren says.

Indeed, the leader who is humble never allows the power of his position to cloud his judgment. He respects the unique contribution individuals have to make, and does not get stuck on their perceived weaknesses, he adds.

?One of the greatest strengths of humble leaders is that they never assume they know all the answers and allow people to explain things to them. They look for the opportunity to learn and use every opportunity to make others feel valued.?

Apart from personal issues, there is no real harm in letting people know what you view as your strengths and weaknesses. ?A good step would be to implement a system where you can get direct feedback from your executive team, your clients, your staff and even people in your personal circle. While this system will create an open and honest company culture, it will also contribute significantly to your own personal growth.?

Van Vuuren says you should connect with your manager, peers and those that report to you. ?You will make them feel more comfortable about exploring their own opportunities for development.?

Honest leaders are also good listeners, he says. ?Do you have a tendency, when someone starts explaining something, to interrupt them to make sure they know that you already know what they are talking about? The next time this happens, try something new. Listen. Let them finish their explanation.

?Ask lots of questions, validate them, then add your comments.?

In the act of being humble, you make others feel important and valued, Van Vuuren said.

?That is the gift of the humble leader. Besides, it is more refreshing and empowering being around humble people than inflated egos.?

(Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a trademark or registered trademark of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Trust in the United States and other countries.)

Communications and Personality Type - Sensing & iNtuition

Friday, June 29th, 2012

The Sensing and Intuition scale represents the greatest potential for communication differences between people, since it really influences one?s worldview.? And, when you remember that Sensing and Intuition are the two preferences for the cycle of behavior that has to do with Gathering INFORMATION it?s easy to understand why the potential for confusion and chaos exists in giving communication when you don?t understand and recognize someone?s preference.?

Intuitive types are motivated by change and get enthusiastic about doing things differently and they want to share their inspirational ideas that they gained through their Intuition.? These ideas start as abstract concepts, often not too complete with details.??

The PEOPLE Process Trainer's Manual & Participant's Package

?Sensing types may be skeptical of theoretical concepts and want to see concrete evidence that the theory presented will work.? Sensors want to hear and see specifics and factual information that is linked to reality and presented in a step-by-step format.? They will ask practical questions and will want the details or the specific steps described.

Intuitive types usually see a lot of questions as being overly limiting, nitpicky, challenging or demonstrating a lack of confidence.? When the Intuitive type is unable to ground ideas with facts and details, the Sensing type will see the information being presented as unrealistic and impractical.

Intuitive types tend to use metaphors, analogies, and other abstract language.? They use theoretical words and concepts.? Sensing types prefer to speak in language that is literal and descriptive.? These two ways of using language are quite different and can block effective communication.

Sensors in communication

Strengths

  • Anchored in reality & common sense
  • Practical & realistic
  • Observant & attend to details
  • Immediately apply communication

Communication Approach

  • Seek facts, details & concrete examples
  • Like step-by-step explanations
  • Trust what has been tried & proven
  • Comfortable with familiarity & practicality

When Communicating with Sensors

  • Be practical with ideas that are down to earth
  • Present information sequentially
  • Show a plan & process for change
  • Use words that relate to sensory images

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Intuitives in communication

Strengths

  • Are open to possibilities
  • Anticipate & create change
  • Are future oriented ? see trends
  • Generate ideas

Communication Approach

  • Become bored with details
  • Like to brainstorm
  • See patterns & the big picture
  • Don?t like to be hampered by limits

When Communicating with Intuitives

  • Provide an overview first
  • Suspend reality when brainstorming
  • Share main points, then detail
  • Show future possibilities of your ideas

CHANGING BEHAVIOR - Author: Georgianna Donadio

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

Following is an excerpt from the newly published book, “Changing Behavior,” by Georgianna Donadio.? It’s really all about applying the Golden Rule and treating others with respect and love.? I recently read this book and recommend it highly!

Chapter Two:? Transforming Relationships with Behavioral Engagement and Pure Presence

A Step by Step Review of Behavioral Engagement Skills:

The role?of? Behavioral Engagement is to provide communication skills that will strengthen and enrich relationships and avoid having your interactions take a detour into conflict and misunderstanding.? Whether you are communicating with your significant other, a co-worker, boss, mother-in-law or friend, the skills of BE can be applied to all relationship communications.

Step One:? Begin by clearing out any stress or distraction we might be experiencing that day and focus on the oportunity of having a communication with another person which will result in a positive outcome for both individuals.? Enter into the communication in a centered, receptive, respectful, mindful, non-judgmental, fully and purely present, and compassionate state; as an equal and having the desire to maintain being this way with the other person throughout the entire communication.

Step Two:? It is important to be physically comfortable and relaxed.? Identify any physical distraction that might cause you to lose your attention, focus or center.? If you fidget, look away, answer your cell phone, this will be distracting to the person you are with and will communicate to them that you are not fully present in the conversation.?

Step Three:? Posture your eye contact with the other person to facilitate pure presence in your communication.? Eye contact is soft and soothing, never aggressive or probing.? The way you look at the other person communicates your inner dialogue.

Step Four:??Check your intention.? Throughout your communication, keeping your intention open, centered, and non-judgmental is an important part of creating the desired state of pure presence with the other person.

Step Five:? If you requested to have this conversation with the other person, you might begin the exchange with respectful inquiry, asking them what his or her feelings are regarding the matter that you wish to clarify.? Your intention and eye contact will signal to them that you are sincerely interested in hearing how they feel and what they have to say.

Step Six:? Be responsive without interjecting.? Do not probe, ask questions or interrupt.

Step Seven:? Respect and welcome the silence between the words.? In this special time of silence, we may catch a glimpse at our subconscious feelings and awareness.?

Step Eight:? Be patient - with yourself and the other person during the Behavioral Engagement process.?

Step Nine:? Your intention will become your agenda, so be honest with yourself about what your motive is for entering into the conversation.

Step Ten:? At some point in the conversation you will verbally respond to the other person and it is important that you use the “I” statements to express your feelings.

Step Eleven:? Allow for discovery.? One of the transformational components of BE is that if you remain true to the model and stay in your pure presence center, you will make discoveries that will shift you emotionally.

Step Twelve:? Keep trying, and do not give up on your skills development.? Once you are exposed to BE and experience the transformational power it has for yourself and your relationships, you will want to perfect it.?

Research and statistics demonstrate that relationships are critical to our health, happiness and longevity.? Published studies note that people who are in significant relationships live longer than people who are not.

Relationships - we want them and need them.? Learning how to have better relationships is as much a part of staying healthy as eating good food, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.

“Would you rather be loved or be right?”? If we want to be in relationships with others, it is important to understand that after survival, the human priority is to belong; to be loved rather than to be right or be in control.? We want and need nourishing and loving companionship.