Posts Tagged ‘mbti’

Communications and Personality Type — Extravert & Introvert

Tuesday, June 19th, 2012

Communication is central to our life?we communicate with others every day, throughout the day. Understanding, appreciating, and accommodating personality differences in communication style can bring major success to our effectiveness as a friend, spouse, employee, supervisor, trainer, leader, and team member. People have different preferences in the way they take in and evaluate information and their orientation to the world around them. As we develop our awareness, understanding, and appreciation of communication differences, we will reap the benefit in our relationship with others.?

Extraverts are energized by lively and enthusiastic discussions, with rapid-paced conversation, and often interrupt as they elaborate on and process thoughts. Introverts are energized by quiet conversations with space for reflection and conversation pace is slower, taking time as they build thoughts and ideas internally. Extraverts? communication approach doesn?t allow time for Introverts to reflect and then give their opinions. Extraverts like to ?think out loud? and don?t realize that Introverts feel unable to respond quickly in a conversation, preferring to internalize the information first. Thus, the Extraverts? reaction sometimes is that the Introvert is not providing input that energizes the Extravert.

When Introverts share information, it has been carefully thought through and evaluated. When an Extravert is in the ?thinking out loud? mode they may not give the input the full evaluation it merits. Similarly, Introverts may put too much emphasis on what is said by Extraverts, not realizing they are ?hearing themselves think? and need to process information this way. This can cause difficulties for both preferences as Extraverts may miss valuable contributions by Introverts, and Introverts may take what Extraverts say too seriously and make decisions based on the input.

These communication differences can be especially dangerous in conflict situations, as Extraverts want to handle a situation immediately and Introverts require time to think things through before giving their ideas on possible solutions. Because each preference is requiring something the other type does not prefer, tension can increase. Extraverts can become impatient, wanting to move forward and make a decision not giving time to the Introverts? need to process the information internally and, then, make a decision.

EXTRAVERTS? in communication

Strengths

  • Energetic & enthusiastic
  • Think out loud
  • Give a lot of information
  • Network well

Communication Approach:

  • Speak out freely in groups
  • Think out loud
  • Like to discuss lots of topics
  • Interrupt often during discussion

When Communicating with Extraverts:

  • Listen attentively
  • Be actively responsive
  • Be energetic & enthusiastic
  • Support their need to communicate

INTROVERTS ?in communication

Strengths:

  • Quiet, reflective presence
  • Respond carefully and thoughtfully
  • Know a few people well
  • Listen without interrupting

Communication Approach:

  • Listen more than talk
  • Talk one on one
  • Need time to reflect before responding
  • Process information internally

When Communicating with Introverts:

  • Value their need for privacy
  • Allow them time to change focus
  • Ask questions to draw them out
  • Don?t pressure for an instant response

Not All Successful CEOs Are Extroverts

Thursday, June 14th, 2012

This article is taken from USA Today, June 7, 2006, Del Jones.)

The following is a great article depicting Extroverts and Introverts and I think you will enjoy reading it. My Southwest pilot friend, Cathy, ISTJ, brought it to me and when I read it I called and thanked her profusely because the article gives a great illustration of the strengths and talents of Introverts. Introverts have gotten a ?bad rap? over the years because they are viewed as being shy and that is not necessarily so. The information below clears this misconception up.

Chris Scherpenseel, president of Microsoft?s 140-employee FRx Software subsidiary, is an amateur astronomer. ?I hate to call astronomers lonely, but most people don?t want to be up at 1 a.m. when it?s cold outside,? he says.??

?Alone is the way Scherpenseel likes it. So does his boss, Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. But rather than being the exception, they have plenty of company among corporate brass in their preference for solitude.

It seems counter-intuitive, but introverts and closet introverts populate the highest corporate offices, so much so that four in 10 top executives test out to be introverts, a proportion only a little lower than the 50-50 split among the overall population age 40 and older.

There are many ingredients to success, and one of the most obvious has always been an outgoing, gregarious personality that lets fast risers stand out in a crowd of talent. But successful introverts seem to have mastered the ability to act like extroverts. Some liken it to an out-of-body experience that lets them watch themselves be temporarily unreserved. They remain introverts to the core, and if they don?t get down time alone or with family, they feel their energy being sapped.

The list of well-known corporate CEO introverts reads like a Who?s Who, starting with Gates, who has long been described as shy and unsocial, and who often goes off by himself to reflect. Others widely presumed to be introverts include Warren Buffett, Charles Schwab, movie magnate Steven Spielberg and Sara Lee CEO Brenda Barnes.

?I?ve always been shy,? Barnes told USA TODAY in an interview early this year at her Chicago office. She turns down most speeches and nearly all interview requests. ?People wouldn?t call me that, but I am.?

Former Sun Microsystems executive Jim Green, now CEO of Composite Software, has jogged the streets solo from London to New Zealand to recharge. SkyeTec CEO Chris Uhland was at a wedding recently where he snuck off by himself to watch golf on TV. His wife was not happy. Patricia Copeland, wife of former Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu CEO James Copeland, understands. She told USA TODAY three years ago that even at family get-togethers in Georgia, her husband will soon be found taking refuge in a book.

Copeland sent an e-mail of clarification last month from a ConocoPhillips board meeting in Houston. He says he is insecure in social settings, but enjoys other people when there?s a problem to be solved.

?I tried to deal with my weakness? by being active in such endeavors as the United Way, he wrote. That seemed to work, but throw Copeland into a cocktail party and watch him squirm. ?In purely social events, I just toughed it out and did the best I could.?

Many CEOs rise from marketing and other arenas of extroversion. But they?re just as likely to come from the finance or information technology disciplines. The software industry might have the highest proportion of CEO introverts, starting with Gates, says astronomer hobbyist Scherpenseel, who began as a certified public accountant.

Introverts say they succeed because they have inner strength and think before they act. When faced with difficult decisions, introverts worry little about what other people will think of them, Uhland says.

Although reclusive by nature, shy CEOs seem to have been making more than their share of news lately. When USA TODAY ordered up handwriting analyses two years ago of CEOs facing criminal charges, three different experts called former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling an introvert and inhibited loner. The other former Enron CEO on trial, Ken Lay, was often seen making small talk with strangers in the courthouse hallways. But Skilling typically restricted himself to speaking to his wife or his lawyer, Dan Petrocelli, who in his closing argument last month called Skilling anti-social. A jury convicted Skilling and Lay of hiding Enron?s true financial condition from investors.

Another CEO to make headlines, William Swanson, says he was ?extremely shy? when he first joined Raytheon as a young engineer. He rarely spoke at meetings, but rather scribbled notes of observations that he said led to his publishing decades later of Swanson?s Unwritten Rules of Management, a booklet recently discovered to be so plagiarized that the Raytheon board of directors denied him a pay raise.

 

CHANGING BEHAVIOR - Author: Georgianna Donadio

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

Following is an excerpt from the newly published book, “Changing Behavior,” by Georgianna Donadio.? It’s really all about applying the Golden Rule and treating others with respect and love.? I recently read this book and recommend it highly!

Chapter Two:? Transforming Relationships with Behavioral Engagement and Pure Presence

A Step by Step Review of Behavioral Engagement Skills:

The role?of? Behavioral Engagement is to provide communication skills that will strengthen and enrich relationships and avoid having your interactions take a detour into conflict and misunderstanding.? Whether you are communicating with your significant other, a co-worker, boss, mother-in-law or friend, the skills of BE can be applied to all relationship communications.

Step One:? Begin by clearing out any stress or distraction we might be experiencing that day and focus on the oportunity of having a communication with another person which will result in a positive outcome for both individuals.? Enter into the communication in a centered, receptive, respectful, mindful, non-judgmental, fully and purely present, and compassionate state; as an equal and having the desire to maintain being this way with the other person throughout the entire communication.

Step Two:? It is important to be physically comfortable and relaxed.? Identify any physical distraction that might cause you to lose your attention, focus or center.? If you fidget, look away, answer your cell phone, this will be distracting to the person you are with and will communicate to them that you are not fully present in the conversation.?

Step Three:? Posture your eye contact with the other person to facilitate pure presence in your communication.? Eye contact is soft and soothing, never aggressive or probing.? The way you look at the other person communicates your inner dialogue.

Step Four:??Check your intention.? Throughout your communication, keeping your intention open, centered, and non-judgmental is an important part of creating the desired state of pure presence with the other person.

Step Five:? If you requested to have this conversation with the other person, you might begin the exchange with respectful inquiry, asking them what his or her feelings are regarding the matter that you wish to clarify.? Your intention and eye contact will signal to them that you are sincerely interested in hearing how they feel and what they have to say.

Step Six:? Be responsive without interjecting.? Do not probe, ask questions or interrupt.

Step Seven:? Respect and welcome the silence between the words.? In this special time of silence, we may catch a glimpse at our subconscious feelings and awareness.?

Step Eight:? Be patient - with yourself and the other person during the Behavioral Engagement process.?

Step Nine:? Your intention will become your agenda, so be honest with yourself about what your motive is for entering into the conversation.

Step Ten:? At some point in the conversation you will verbally respond to the other person and it is important that you use the “I” statements to express your feelings.

Step Eleven:? Allow for discovery.? One of the transformational components of BE is that if you remain true to the model and stay in your pure presence center, you will make discoveries that will shift you emotionally.

Step Twelve:? Keep trying, and do not give up on your skills development.? Once you are exposed to BE and experience the transformational power it has for yourself and your relationships, you will want to perfect it.?

Research and statistics demonstrate that relationships are critical to our health, happiness and longevity.? Published studies note that people who are in significant relationships live longer than people who are not.

Relationships - we want them and need them.? Learning how to have better relationships is as much a part of staying healthy as eating good food, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.

“Would you rather be loved or be right?”? If we want to be in relationships with others, it is important to understand that after survival, the human priority is to belong; to be loved rather than to be right or be in control.? We want and need nourishing and loving companionship.

 

Hallmark Cards Using Myers Briggs Personality Type

Monday, May 28th, 2012

(Summary of article in February 2010 issue of T&D Magazine.)

Over the course of the past century, the family-run company of Hallmark Cards has earned a reputation and cultivated a culture befitting its positive, uplifting products.? Underlying its core mission is a belief? in the best of human nature, including people?s ability to accomplish great things and find deep meaning in relationships.? This belief has always shaped Hallmark?s policies, which place people ? both within and outside the organization ? at the forefront.

The market, the workplace, and the competitive landscape have become more dynamic, global, and diverse, and the Internet, mobile technologies, and other innovations?have completely remade the communication landscape by connecting people in ways never thought possible.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

Recognizing that such shifts affect a company that earns its revenue by communicating feelings, Hallmark?s top management made the objective of adapting the corporate culture to the realities of this decade its highest priority.? The company set a goal to change its overall mindset from one of a manufacturing organization focused on putting product on shelves to that of a consumer-centric company that fully engages its key audiences.

Hallmark decided to develop leaders that view situations from multiple perspectives and an agile management culture of accountability in which people work toward each others? success and build their agendas to support the company?s goals.? The new vision includes leaders that inspire the hearts and minds of employees and instill confidence, and an organization capable of efficiently implementing the right ideas at the right time.

Hallmark?s HR manager for corporate development and senior HR specialist created a program called, Steppingstones, which is designed to open lines of communication within the organization by giving mid- and upper-level managers greater self-understanding and insight into how their actions and communications are perceived by others.? One of the central features is the use of an instrument designed to shed light on how personality shapes thought and behavior ? the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment.

The assessment tool by CPP Inc., is based on Dr. Carl Jung?s personality type theory, which states that we each have an innate fundamental personality type that shapes and influences the way we understand the world, process information, and socialize.? The assessment helps individuals determine which one of the 16 personality types fits them best ? a discovery process that can uncover an abundance of information, including factors directly related to work habits, interpersonal relationships, and other elements affecting workplace cohesion.? The 16 four-letter types are based on preferences for introversion or extraversion, sensing or intuition, thinking or feeling and judging or perceiving.

The Steppingstones program takes participants through a series of activities designed to show them how they tend to interact and operate within a team.? The program uses?Myers-Briggs?personality type theory?to dig deeper into conversations and determine the real intent of the persons engaged.? Oftentimes, individuals tend to place people into files according to their perceptions of them, which are often skewed.? More often than not, the intent is actually positive, even if the delivery comes across as negative.? The?type theory?results shed light on how individuals may be perceived by others, helping participants understand how personality type affects communication style, and providing tools to improve co-worker interactions by expressing and discerning intent with more clarity.??An understanding of Myers-Briggs personality type gives managers the ability to check their perception against reality and avoid taking offense where none is intended.

By understanding personality differences and improving their ability to pick up on type-specific cues, managers can open the channels of communication and avoid potential landmines.? Additionally, they help people learn how to speak up and express themselves in ways that elicit positive responses, thereby creating an environment in which people feel comfortable expressing contrary opinions.? Managers ? particularly those dealing with Introverted personalities ? need to be aware that they may be shutting down discussion without actually hearing what their team thinks.

An understanding of personality type and awareness of the personality makeup of the organization has shaped the overall implementation of Hallmark?s change strategy, placing the emphasis on initiating a program that would approach it in the right way.?

The company is composed of predominantly STJs, who tend to resist change unless they truly understand why it is called for.? For an ISTJ or an ESTJ personality type, it is very important to help them see the logical progression that has led the company to the place where they currently are, and why the changes are necessary.? This philosophy has shaped Hallmark?s approach from the beginning.?

More than 1,000 managers have attended Steppingstones to date and the program and its emphasis on?Myers-Briggs?personality type?have yielded numerous positive results for Hallmark which have contributed to the company?s overall efficiency.? To begin with, decisions are being reached faster, and thoughts are delivered with increased clarity.? This is attributable in part to the communication insight gained through?Myers-Briggs?and the Steppingstones program, which helps managers avoid misunderstandings that often hamper decision making and flex their communication styles to their audience.?

Additionally, a major improvement in diversity of thought has been noticed, as people with different personality types become more comfortable speaking their mind and learn how to communicate in ways that appeal to people of other types.? Furthermore, as the company gains greater insight into how personality affects relationships, the ability of staff members to connect meaningfully has improved, positively affecting cohesion, motivation, and interpersonal communication.

The Myers-Briggs?personality type training?has created a common language that fundamentally underlies all of the aforementioned changes.? All of these improvements are enabling Hallmark to work more cohesively toward a unified goal, and react to the dynamic, and sometimes hectic, realities of a global economy and revolutionized communication landscape.

Boost Your Business With Employee Training

Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
If you want to improve staff retention, increase productivity, and improve morale then you may want to consider employee training. It is important for a number of reasons that?members of? your staff remain up-to-date, and I will discuss some of these below.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

Employee training improves staff retention

If staff feel that they are stagnant and not challenged, then they are more likely to lose interest in their work. This boredom will cause many to look for another job that seems a bit more challenging. Employee training keeps things fresh, and it makes the staff feel like they are developing while in the job. So long as they feel they are learning something new and needing to meet new challenges their attitude to the job will remain fresh and enthusiastic. It is when members of staff feel that there is nothing more to learn that problems set in.

Employee training improves productivity

In every industry there will always be?innovations and improved ways of doing things. Employee training will keep people up-to-date and consequently more productive. The fact that they are not bored with their job will also mean that they will work a lot harder.

Employee training improves staff morale

When you provide employee training, it demonstrates to staff that you view them as important for the company?s future. It?gives them the message that their contribution is needed by the company.? In fact, it is so important that you are willing to invest in their education. When employees feel valued like this it increases staff morale. It also adds to their productivity and makes them less likely to leave the job.

Employee training is good for team building

When staff members are brought together in an environment like employee training, it increases their sense of being a team. These sessions tend to mix people who work in different parts of the business together. This will allow them to better understand how the other parts of the business work and how everyone is in it together for a similar purpose. These training sessions allows for a bit of socializing as well as learning. It also gives the managers a chance to mingle with staff in a more relaxed manner.

Employee training ensures that everyone is up-to-date on policy and procedures

There will be some types of employee training that are mandatory in certain industries. Training such as manual handling, CPR, first aid, and so on. These?sessions will most often be required for each staff member every few years. It is important that you try and have everyone on the same training schedule so that you don?t have to provide many sessions of the same class. If there are new procedures that you want staff to follow, then these training sessions are the best time to introduce these.

As you can see there are many benefits available by having training for staff. It is a good idea to aim to have so many of these every year. If your business is constantly changing or involves a lot of on-the-job learning, then monthly training sessions might be a good idea.

By:? Ryan Fyfe

Judging Listening Strengths

Monday, May 7th, 2012

?I just have to make good listening my goal.?

When I asked the question, ?What are your strengths as a listener??? no one mentioned anything related to Judging.? It seems that Js don?t get much help from their Judging when it comes to listening, and that Judging tendencies are just something they have to manage.

That made me think about my own Judging function.? Is it really a deficit when it comes to being a good listener?? It?s such an asset in so many other ways.? It helps me keep my life organized and take care of others.? It helps me set goals and work steadily toward them, making it possible to do just about anything I want to do, like go on a trip to Europe with my family, finish writing a book or even learn how to use the espresso machine I got for Christmas.?????

?Wait!? If my J allows me to be good at reaching goals, maybe that?s what can help me be a better listener.? I just have to make good listening my goal.? Or, I can change the goals I used to have into good listening goals.? Instead of the goal to ?Give my opinion? why not have the goal, ?See it from their point of view.?? Instead of the goal to ?Solve their problem? why not have the goal, ?Let them know you understand their problem.?

Js like to make ?to-do? lists, so why don?t I make a ?to-do? list about listening, of all the techniques that have come up in these issues.? Then, after I?ve followed all the points on the list, I can have the satisfaction of checking off one more conversation where I?ve accomplished my goal of being a good listener.? I can feel proud of one more time where I really opened myself up to another person, and let them know that they are not alone in this life.? someday I may even meet my ultimate goal, which is to do those things on my list so naturally that I?m not even thinking about them.

So we Js do have a strength when it comes to listening.? If we put ?Be a good listener? on our ?to-do? list, if we make it our goal, well then, we?ll probably pull it off.

 

Perceiving Listening Strengths

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

?I really want to know more about what people have to say.?

The attitudes we?re looking for in a listener:? open-mindedness, curiosity and tolerance, seem to come easily to many Ps.? You can see it in their faces.? They have that ?I?m interested? look in their eyes, and it?s fun to talk to someone who looks like that.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

I can think of many times where I?ve watched people just open up to a P, and suddenly start talking happily about their interests.

?I like to listen because I?m collecting data,? says John, ENTP.? ?Once, a friend told me a long story, and after he finished I said:? ?That?s interesting.?? He said:? ?When most people say that, it?s dismissive, but when you say it, you?re actually finding it interesting.???

?I like to listen because I?m collecting data,? says John, ENTP.? ?Once, a friend told me a long story, and after he finished I said:? ?That?s interesting.?? He said:? ?When most people say that, it?s dismissive, but when you say it, you?re actually finding it interesting.?

?My strength as a listener is that I really want to know more about what people have to say,? says Anna, ISFP.? ?I know?it?s important to them, but I also like to learn from other people.? When I was young, it was a good way for me to be, because I had to go to parties with a whole bunch of my husband?s business associates, who would all be talking about science.? The easiest way for me to mingle would be to ask questions.? I realized that wow, this is exciting.? I could talk to people that I didn?t know, and there were all these other topics in the world that I didn?t really know about.? Also, when I took the time to listen to other people, I got a lot of information that I could really use in my life.?

Because Ps?are so good at data collection, they can gently push the speakers to consider new and sometimes surprising information.

?I can pick out what was not said, what was underrepresented,? says Caroline, INFP.? ?That?s not easy to do, because a lot of time in discussions, everyone starts following along with evidence in one direction and they totally miss that there might be an entirely different viewpoint.?

Instead of opinions or advice, which send the message that the listener was really listening to themselves, most Ps tend to naturally respond with questions, which sends the message that they are really listening and trying to understand.? Another way of sending the message that we?re listening is to repeat back what the speaker said, in our own words, to make sure we are interpreting it correctly.? One P even told us that this practice of ?active listening,? came naturally to him, and was his habit before he had ever heard it described.

?When I first heard about active listening, I thought, ?So that?s what you call it,?? says Jerry, INTP.? ?I did that naturally.? People always seem to find it easy to talk to me, because I put what they said into my own words.? For example, my wife works in a very stressful job as a nurse in an infant intensive care unit.? If I ask her how her day was, and she says, ?It was awful,? I don?t just grunt.? I really do try to understand as she describes the problems she had with a parent today.? When she?s finished, I might say, ?I know it frustrates you when you try to tell a parent that what they want isn?t good for their baby.?? It turns out not?to be a very long conversation, because when people feel understood, the need to tell their story over and over is not so great.

?I worked as a marriage counselor,? he continues,? and some part of every couple?s problem was the failure to communicate.? I taught them to put into their own words what they thought the other was saying.? I told them not to just parrot their words, or you?ll get a response like, ?Don?t do that listening stuff on me.? But if it?s in your own words, it sounds natural, and they?ll be able to tell you if you?re right or wrong.?

Sensing Listening Strengths

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

?I remember all the facts and details.?

If the gift of Intuitive listeners is that they can put wings on what you say, the gift of Sensing listeners is that they can put arms and legs on what you say.? I can?t tell you how many times my conversations with my Sensing friends have resulted in my suddenly being able to move on a problem that had me stuck in place.? After I talk to them, I know the product to buy, the service to call, the information to download, or the location to drive to.?

The PEOPLE Process Assessment Wheel

Another gift of Sensing types is that they can often remember the facts and details that people tell them.? It means a lot to see a person six months after you?ve talked, and hear them ask, ?How did that problem with your daughter come out??

?My strengths are that I?m good at keeping track of people and what they?re doing.? It makes them feel special,? says Dan, ESTP.? ?For example, my friend told me a few months ago that he?s interested in a graduate program, and I asked him about that recently, and I think he liked that.?

?My strength as a listener is that I remember all the facts and details,? says Patty, ESTJ.? ?A client might call me back after five years and say, ?Hi, I?m sure you don?t remember me, but you tested my daughter.?? I say, ?Of course I remember you.? Your daughter wore a purple sweater that day and her birthday is April 11.?? I don?t do it on purpose.? It?s just that all that stuff goes in there and gets filed.?

Sensing types are also often alert to the sensory information about the speaker, so if their words don?t match their body language, Ss will probably pick up on it.

?My strength as a listener is that I notice all the sensory stuff besides their listening:? their tone of voice, the look on their face, the agitation in their bodies,? says Sharon, ISTP.? ?I may not even hear the words.? sometimes I?ll say to a person, ?You said this, but everything about you says something else.?? I might find out later that I was right that they were stressed out, even if it was about something other than what they were talking about.? That?s why I don?t like e-mails, because you can?t see or hear all the other stuff in an email.?

Another strength of some Sensing listeners, and one that is worth imitating, is their ability to ?see? in their minds what the person is describing.

?When people are talking to me, it?s like I?m running a movie in my mind?s eye,? says Patty, ESTJ.? ?I?m visualizing it, and that makes it more fun to listen, and helps me really be with the person.?

Resource:? The TYPE Reporter, No. 98, The gift of Listening, Part 2

Intuitive Listening Strengths

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

I?m able to synthesize or articulate the thoughts of others.?

Intuitive listeners are often good at taking the stories they hear and connecting them with a theory or an idea.? For example, after the Virginia Tech shootings, an acquaintance said that she was dismayed that there was no Christian prayer said at the university?s memorial service.? That bothered me, because I was thinking of all the non-Christian students that would have felt excluded during a prayer, at a time when they needed to join together in their common grief.? I repeated her comment to an ENFP friend, and his reply was:? ?Our founding fathers understood the tyranny of the majority over the minority, but people today forget that.?? You can?t get better validation than to be told that you think like our founding fathers, and I?m usually grateful when Intuitive listeners take my specific experience and connect it to the general experience.?

The PEOPLE Process Training Products

 

Another strength of Intuitive listeners is that they?re able to sort through a great deal of information and find the essential idea.

?My strengths as a listener are being able to synthesize or articulate the thoughts of others, particularly in group discussions, when discussion is going all over the place,? says Carolyn, INFP.? ?I can pull together what I have heard.?

?If a client is really upset, I?ll say, ?Start anyplace, and we?ll track it together,?? says Catherine, ENTJ.? ?After they get all the pieces out, no matter how chaotic their story, I can feel myself consulting my Intuition, asking myself if I have the full picture.?

Intuitive listeners are also good at listening for possibilities, when something the speaker said might mean more than they are giving it credit for.?

?My strengths are that I?ll hear something in passing, an extraneous comment, a little nugget that has been thrown out,? says Dee, ENTP, ?and I?ll ask them to say some more about it.? I?ll help them return to that comment and unpack it.?

The best thing about Intuitive listeners, however, is that they can sometimes listen for possibilities in the speaker, and be able to tel them that they are worth more than they give themselves credit for.

?Beyond just the data gathering, I try to help people identify their strengths, to reframe things when they?re feeling very negative about themselves,? says Craig, ENFP.? ?I remember when I was a kid, walking home from lunch with this girl in my class.? She was burdened because the other kids were making fun of her.? I said something about her talents, and after that, the poison was gone for her.? When I?m working with clients as well, I try to help people see themselves so that they like what they see.?

The Gift of Listening - How Does Type Influence Our Listening?

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

In the last blog update, 16 people were asked the question, ?Who is the best listener in your life??? and 14 of them mentioned an Introvert.? Do Introverts really have a natural advantage over Extraverts when it comes to listening?

According to the type theory, Introverts have two good reasons to listen more than talk.? First of all, they have a lower need to talk because they process their thoughts internally.? They may want to share their completed thoughts with others, but that usually requires less time than thinking through something out loud.????

The PEOPLE Process Training Materials

 

 

Second, when Introverts talk, they?re using their Auxiliary function, which is not what they?re best at, so they don?t get the positive response that Extraverts do.? After awhile, they become less confident and more critical of themselves when they speak.? The role of listener becomes a better way for them to garner self-esteem.

 

Extraverts, on the other hand, have two good reasons to talk more than listen.? First, they need to process their thoughts out loud.? They often do their best thinking when they are talking, so they need to have several good listeners in their lives to allow them to reach clarity and understanding.

 

Second, Extraverts derive greater self-esteem from talking than Introverts.? Because they are Extraverts, they are showing their dominant function to the world, which is what they?re best at, whether it?s practical knowledge, possibilities, logic or caring.? When they finish speaking, they usually get a better response from others, and more of a sense of accomplishment in their speech.? It?s hard to give that up and switch over into listening.

 

However, just because Introverts tend to do more listening, they don?t necessarily listen well.? Although they may be silent when someone else is speaking, they may actually have a strong internal dialogue going, and may be listening more to themselves than the speaker.

 

Let?s face it.? It?s an effort for all of us to be good listeners.? Extraverts have to manage their external voice, and Introverts have to manage their internal voice.

 

In trying to become a good human being though, nothing makes a bigger difference than developing the ability to listen well.? No matter what else we do for other people, if we listen attentively and sypathetically to what they are saying, and let them know that they have been heard and understood, that will mean the most to them.