Posts Tagged ‘management training’

Thinking Listening Strengths

Friday, April 6th, 2012

?I can look at it clearly, without emotion.?

What I like about talking to Thinking types is that I know they can listen to me describe a painful occurrence without feeling the pain themselves.? I don?t want to cause other people pain, and sometimes, when I?m confiding to the Fs who are close to me, I realize it?s affecting them, and I end up trying to comfort them and telling them it?s not so bad.? With a T, I know I can describe exactly how bad I feel, because they won?t necessarily feel it with me.

?I don?t have empathy; I can?t feel what they?re feeling, but I can step back a bit and hear the logic of what they?re trying to get across,? says John, ENTP,? ?I can understand their argument.????????

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

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Also, when emotions are strong, Ts can remain untouched by them and continue thinking clearly.? I wish I had a Ts ability not to feel the pain or confusion of others, especially when it?s someone close to me, because then I wouldn?t be so anxious to make it go away.

?My husband, an INTJ, is able to remain calm when I?m upset, which is not my usual experience,? says Marthanne, ENFJ.? ?Usually, when I get upset, everyone around me gets twice as upset, which is quite annoying.? I remember the first Thanksgiving we spent together when we were dating.? I was cooking the turkey, and I had not allowed the right amount of time and I was supposed to take it from my house to his house.? I was all upset, but he didn?t get upset, or show impatience or condemnation for my being upset.? He just listened through the feeling somehow to what the problem and the solution were.?

?I can look at it clearly, without emotion,? says Pam, INTJ.? ?If you?re looking for someone to help you solve a problem, I?m a good one to talk to.?

Also, Ts are more able to keep in mind that even though someone is making a very good case that they have been wronged, there is probably another side to the story.

?I don?t let emotions get in the way and I try to stay fair,? says Jamie, ISTJ.? ?I?ve learned the hard way that there are two sides to everything, so even though their emotions are legitimate, I should not take sides based on hearing one person?s side of it.? I can listen and commiserate and say, ?Wow, that?s really rough on you,? instead of ?That?s totally unfair!??

Fs might try to be good listeners simply because people like good listeners.? But Ts usually need a different rationale.? They may decide to become good listeners because it makes them more effective in their work.? Good listening, for example, is important in the work of parenting.

?When I was raising children, I realized how important it was to be a good listener,? says Dee, ENTP.? ?I raised a 6-year old and 12-year-old from my husband?s first marriage, and the first year we lived together, I was amazed at how much they demanded my attention.? They really needed to talk, especially because their mom had been dying for years.? Kids have a way of focusing your attention.? They?ll tell you, ?Mom, you?re not listening,??

Good listening is also important in the workplace, and Ts often get their initial insights about the importance of listening from workplace training or experience.

?I worked on a project with two other people where we had to interview managers,? says John, ENTP.? ?We would get together after we?d interviewed a manager to discuss what we?d heard, but we?d spend the whole time arguing about what they had really said.? Finally, I started to take notes and write them up afterwards.? We were shocked to see that we do a lot of interpreting and extrapolating.? For example, a guy would say, ?We manage on performance,? and we thought he must mean he?s measuring the outcome of the training programs.? Then we?d find out he wasn?t measuring the outcomes.? ?Didn?t he say that??? someone would ask, but when we consulted the notes, we realized that he never said he was measuring performance.? After that insight, we became much more effective interviewers.? We could ask great follow-up questions because now we were listening to what people actually said.?

?Once we had a series of staff training on listening,? says Jamie, ISTJ.? ?We?d do an exercise where you listen, and then repeat it back to make sure you understood what they intended.? My first reaction was:? ?That?s positively silly; I know what they said.?? But when we did the exercise it was like, ?Oh my goodness, I didn?t really hear what they were saying at all.?? Just knowing that so much miscommunication is possible opened my mind to the thought that listening isn?t just hearing, there?s more to it.

?The other part of that training was that we should not just listen to words, but also to the feeling behind it.? For example, if they said, ?You never do your share of the laundry,? I would think we were talking about laundry, but what the person is really saying is ?I feel used.? We?re not honest partners.? I?m just here to do chores for you,? It is about being valued in the relationship, and that?s what really needs to be addressed.?

Resource:? The Type Reporter, No. 98

Feeling Listening Strengths

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

?I know where they?re coming from.?

Feelings are underneath everything we convey, even if it?s news or information.? Being able to understand the feelings of people, even if they are not being discussed, is a huge plus for Feeling types when it comes to listening.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

?My strength as a listener is that I can get inside people?s heads and know where they?re coming from,? says Marthanne, ENFJ.? ?Most people experience that very positively as a blessing and a drink of water when they?re thirsty.?

?When I listen to people I become like them; I?m in the ring with them,? says Craig, ENFP.? ?I love getting inside the head of someone and walking in their shoes,? says Janet, INFJ.? ?In fact, it?s energizing for me.?

Another strength of Feeling types is that they want to please people, and if they figure out that listening is a way to please people, they have a strong desire to give the gift of listening.

?I always try to act as interested and engaged as I possibly can,? says Paul, ESFJ.? ?I ask them a lot of questions, and ask myself what they are really trying to tell me.? Then, I try to share an experience that is similar, so they know they?re not the only ones who feel that way.?

?Ever since I was little, I felt like listening was one of my strengths,? says Susan, ISFJ.? ?I have a lot of patience, and I really, really like people.? I realized early on that people like talking about themselves, and if I listen, they like me.?

Source:? The TYPE Reporter:? The Gift of Listening, No. 98

Sensing Listening Strengths

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

?I remember all the facts and details.?

If the gift of Intuitive listeners is that they can put wings on what you say, the gift of Sensing listeners is that they can put arms and legs on what you say.? I can?t tell you how many times my conversations with my Sensing friends have resulted in my suddenly being able to move on a problem that had me stuck in place.? After I talk to them, I know the product to buy, the service to call, the information to download, or the location to drive to.?

The PEOPLE Process Assessment Wheel

Another gift of Sensing types is that they can often remember the facts and details that people tell them.? It means a lot to see a person six months after you?ve talked, and hear them ask, ?How did that problem with your daughter come out??

?My strengths are that I?m good at keeping track of people and what they?re doing.? It makes them feel special,? says Dan, ESTP.? ?For example, my friend told me a few months ago that he?s interested in a graduate program, and I asked him about that recently, and I think he liked that.?

?My strength as a listener is that I remember all the facts and details,? says Patty, ESTJ.? ?A client might call me back after five years and say, ?Hi, I?m sure you don?t remember me, but you tested my daughter.?? I say, ?Of course I remember you.? Your daughter wore a purple sweater that day and her birthday is April 11.?? I don?t do it on purpose.? It?s just that all that stuff goes in there and gets filed.?

Sensing types are also often alert to the sensory information about the speaker, so if their words don?t match their body language, Ss will probably pick up on it.

?My strength as a listener is that I notice all the sensory stuff besides their listening:? their tone of voice, the look on their face, the agitation in their bodies,? says Sharon, ISTP.? ?I may not even hear the words.? sometimes I?ll say to a person, ?You said this, but everything about you says something else.?? I might find out later that I was right that they were stressed out, even if it was about something other than what they were talking about.? That?s why I don?t like e-mails, because you can?t see or hear all the other stuff in an email.?

Another strength of some Sensing listeners, and one that is worth imitating, is their ability to ?see? in their minds what the person is describing.

?When people are talking to me, it?s like I?m running a movie in my mind?s eye,? says Patty, ESTJ.? ?I?m visualizing it, and that makes it more fun to listen, and helps me really be with the person.?

Resource:? The TYPE Reporter, No. 98, The gift of Listening, Part 2

Conflict and Type

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann developed one approach to understanding conflict-handling styles that has been used to research the style most used by each of the types. Using a model developed earlier by Robert Blake and Jane Mouton (1964) for categorizing management styles, Thomas and Kilmann identified two dimensions of behavior involved in managing conflict with another party: concern for one?s own interests and concern for the other person?s interests. They labeled these Assertiveness and Cooperativeness, respectively. Depending on the degree to which a person proportions his or her energy into each of these dimensions, one of the styles will be engaged.????

The PEOPLE Process Assessment Wheel

The 16 personality types respond to conflict according to their preferences. According to the Thomas-Kilmann Model, none of the styles are inherently good or bad. Each is appropriate for some situations and each is also inappropriate or less effective for other situations. The model describes five different approaches to conflict according to how people think about the importance of a task versus the importance of their relationship with the people they are working with ? Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, Accommodating. The main point of the model is to encourage people to be purposeful in how they confront and collaborate with others, rather than relying on their natural ? and often inappropriate tendencies.

In the Competing category, behavior is based on a high attempt to satisfy one?s own interests and a low attempt to satisfy the other party?s interests. A person chooses to use power to win with his or her position. This style is appropriate in situations requiring an emergency decision, where there is no other option and someone must be willing to take the tough stand, or where self-protection is essential. The downside of this style is that it intimidates others to the point where problems may go underground and develop into actions that escalate the conflict. The personality types we find in this category are the ENTJ and ESTJ males.

In the Accommodating category, behavior is based on giving up one?s own interests in order to satisfy the other party?s interests. A choice is made to yield. This style is appropriate when the issue is not of great importance to you and harmony is, or when the other party has all the power. The downside is that if used excessively, neither you nor others have an opportunity to understand your real strength. We find the ENFP and ESFP personality types in this section.

In the Avoiding category, behavior in which there is no attempt to satisfy either one?s own or the other party?s interests is found. A choice is made to remain apart from interactive engagement on the issue. This style is appropriate when the issue is of no importance to you or when used as a strategy to buy time for thinking or ?cooling down,? or if the other person has unyielding power over you. The downside is that issues may persist and remain unresolved. The types we find in this category are the INTJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, and INFJ.

In the Compromising category, behavior in which each party sacrifices some of this or her own interests in order to satisfy some of the interests of the other is found. Each person negotiates to win some personal interests in exchange for yielding others. This style is useful when the issue is if some importance but there is not time for a full-fledged collaborative process. It is also a fallback process when collaboration is not going to produce a fully win/win solution. This downside is that there may be missed opportunity for a more creative solution that would increase resources, productivity and satisfaction. The types we find in this category are the ENTJ and ESTJ females, and the ISTP, INTP, ESTP, ENTP of both genders.

And, finally, in the Collaborating category, behavior that seeks a way to satisfy fully both parties? interests ? a win/win solution is found. Issues are examined that are important to both people and commitment is made to exploration of alternative resolutions that address all concerns. The downside is that the process may involve more time than is available. The types found in this group include the ESFJ and ENFJ.

Source: Wired for Conflict; Sondra S. VanSant

(Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a trademark or registered trademark of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Trust in the United States and other countries.)

Psychological Type And How It Benefits An Organization

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

Psychological type is a theory of personality developed by Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Carl G. Jung to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung concluded that differences in behavior result from people?s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. Jung?s type theory defines patterns of normal behavior, or types, and gives an explanation of how types develop.???????

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

The mother and daughter team of Myers & Briggs further developed Jung?s theory creating the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator?, a self-report questionnaire designed to make Jung?s theory of psychological types understandable and useful in everyday life. After more than 50 years of research and development, the MBTI? is the most widely used instrument with more than two million indicators administered annually in the United States.

The PEOPLE Process takes type theory a step further making it ?useable?, simplifying the understanding and application of what often is a complicated process for people to work with. With all of the breadth and depth of the theory of Dr. Carl Jung and the MBTI?, The PEOPLE Process Wheel takes the theory of the four behavioral dimensions of how Energy is focused, how Information is gathered, how Decisions are made and how Action is taken and makes them easy to remember and use. Within each behavioral dimension, are two opposite poles ? preferences ? for which everyone has a natural preference (inborn strength) for one of the two opposites in each of the four behavioral dimensions.

As we use our preferences, we develop what the research defines as our psychological type: an underlying personality pattern resulting from the dynamic interaction of our four preferences, environmental influences and our own choices. People tend to develop behaviors, skills, and attitudes associated with their type, and those with types that differ from yours, will likely be opposite you in many ways. Each type represents a valuable and reasonable way to be. Each type has its own potential strengths, as well as its likely blind spots.

Psychological type has been applied as a tool for many years by a variety of users including those in:

  • Small businesses and large multinational corporations
  • Service industries and manufacturing concerns
  • Consulting and training services
  • Government at all levels
  • Established firms and new entrepreneurial ventures
  • Educational and health-care institutions

In general, psychological type functions as a tool that helps people in organizations:

  • Understand themselves and their behaviors
  • Appreciate others so as to make constructive use of individual differences
  • Approach problems in different yet healthy ways and thus be more productive

Specifically, organizations use type to:

  • Make the most of their human resources
  • Leverage individuals? natural strengths
  • Improve teamwork
  • Understand and adapt to differences in leadership/management style
  • Enhance effective communications between supervisors, peers, employees, and customers
  • Assist in career development
  • Resolve conflict
  • Coach individuals
  • Design training activities
  • Recognize employees? unique contributions
  • Develop skills in creativity, time management, and stress management

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a trademark or registered trademark of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Trust in the United States and other countries.

What do the best listeners do? What do the worst listeners do?

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011

The best listeners give you their time.

The best listeners send the message that you can take as long as you want to get your thoughts out.? They are listening, and will continue to listen until you are finished.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

?My girlfriend, Paula, an INFP, is the best listener I know,? says Pam, INTJ.? ?She lets me go through the whole shebang without interrupting.?

?The best listener I know is an INFJ who became my mentor,? says, Dee, ENTP.? ?When she listens, she doesn?t intervene a lot while you are telling your story.? She lets you get your narrative well said.?

?My INFP daughter is the best listener I know,? says Catherine, ENTJ.? ?She waits to hear the whole story, even though it?s often a complicated story with lots of layers.?

?My INFJ mother is one of the best listeners in my life,? says Dan, ESTP.? ?She takes the time to actually hear what I?m saying.? I solve problems best by talking about them, and I usually have to talk a lot before I get to a final thought.? It helps me when people take the time to really listen to everything that I have to say.?

?My father was an INFP and he was an excellent listener,? says Anna, ISFP.? ?It?s important that someone give me a chance to speak, and he would sit patiently and let me get through the whole idea.? With some people, when I stop to take a breath, they take off on their own story.?

The worst listeners don?t give you their time.

The worst listeners send the message that if you can?t get your thoughts out quickly, you?re not going to get them out.? They interrupt or cut you off.? You can sense their impatience and lack of interest.

?One member of an executive team, an ENTP, is one of the poorest listeners I know,? says Craig, ENFP.? ?He?ll just voice right over you, and doesn?t even wait for you to breathe.? I?m trying to make a point and he?s already not paying any attention to it.?

?The worst listener in my life is my ESTJ friend,? says Chip, ESFP.? ?She wants closure so quickly that she?ll finish my sentence for me.? I?ll go ?Wait a minute, that isn?t what I was saying.??

?The worst listener in my life is my ENFJ colleague,? says John, ENTP.? ?She gets impatient with how long it takes me to finish my thoughts, and she just cuts me off and takes the conversation over.?

The best listeners give you their attention.

The best listeners send the message that nothing else in the room, or in their life, is as interesting to them as what you are saying.? They look you in the eyes when you?re talking; they appear alert, attentive and focused.

?One of the best listeners in my life is my friend, an ENFJ, says Carolyn, INFP.? ?When she listens, she pays attention to you.? She?s not distracted or marking time.?

?The best listener in my life is my INTJ husband, and he can be remarkably focused,? says Marthanne, ENFJ.? ?When I?m telling him something that is very important to me, he?s right there; he?s not trying to do something else.?

?A friend of mine growing up was an ISTP,? says Craig, ENFP.? ?He had a laser-like ability to listen.? When I was talking, he was there.? His mind wasn?t anywhere else.? He didn?t say affirming words, but his attention would affirm me.?

Two people who worked with Mary McCaulley, the co-founder of the Center for Applications of Psychological Type, said that she was the best listener they had ever known.? McCaulley, an INFP, passed away in 2003.

?When you talked to her, you felt like you were the only person on earth,? says Jamie, ISTJ.? ?She wasn?t thinking about the next thing she had to do; her mind wasn?t elsewhere.?

?No matter who she was listening to, it could be a scientist who studied mangroves in the florida Everglades, she looked like that was the most important topic in the world at the time,? says Anna, ISFP.? ?When she listened, she was captivated.? She couldn?t wait to hear the next sentence from you and was truly interested in what you were saying.? With as much wisdom and knowledge as she had, she always looked like she might be learning something from you.?

The worst listeners don?t give you their attention.

While you are talking, the worst listeners send the message that they?re not really interested, and it?s a struggle for them to pay attention.? You can hear that they?d much rather talk than listen.

?One of the worst listeners I know is an old girlfriend, an INFJ,? says Paul, ESFJ.? ?Whenever I would tell her something about what I was doing, I?d feel like it was really boring to her, and I?d end up not liking what I was talking about.? Once she was really excited about her music, so I said, ?Have you heard of this band?? She said, ?No,? and went on talking about the music she liked.? I was completely shot down.?

?One of the worst listeners in my life is my friend, Justy, and I think he?s an INTP,? says Dan, ESTP.? ?When I get done talking, he doesn?t say anything, or he?ll say, ?Yeah, OK, that?s interesting.?? It?s a flat response as opposed to a two-way conversation.? I get the impression that he would rather talk about something else.?

?Some of the people in our organization seem to have a hard time hearing me in meetings,? says Jamie, ISTJ.? ?Their new ideas are flying so fast that the points I?m trying to make come out sounding irrelevant or they?re just not computed.? I don?t have a lot of grand ideas, but I do have input that might definitely matter if it could be heard.?

?I might tell my friend that I just got back from Las Vegas, and right away, she?ll tell me that when she went, she lost all her money and had a really horrible time,? says Patty, ESTJ.? ?She doesn?t seem interested at all in hearing about my trip.?

?One of the worst listeners in my life is my ENFP friend,? says Janet, INFJ.? ?She just talks non-stop, and then, when she realizes that she?s talked too much, she asks me some questions about myself.? But I can hear that it?s an effort for her, and she?s not really interested in what I say.?

?The worst listener in my life is my Extraverted friend,? says Susan, ISFJ.? ?She calls up and starts out by asking me how things are going in my life, but she quickly gets diverted to all her issues, and never asks me anything else about me.? She might talk for a half hour, but then, when I start to talk, she?ll suddenly have to get off the phone.?

What’s It Like To Be A Thinking Woman?

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

What?s it like when the world expects you to be one way, and you?re just the opposite? What?s it like to often surprise people, or shock them? What?s it like to be a Thinking woman?

Growing up, you identify with boys and men.
Do you know a little girl who pals around with a gang of boys? She?s probably a T. Many T women said that when they were young, they played with the boys. ?I was considered one of the guys,? says Julie, ESTJ. And the guys were the ones I did heavy-duty sharing with, not as feelings, but more as ?What do you think about such and such????

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

Even if they didn?t play with boys, Thinking girls usually enjoyed imagining themselves in the positions of men. ?Even when I played with the girls, I gave myself the role of the father or the doctor,? says Madeline, INTP. And because they identified so strongly with the masculine role, their fathers were especially important figures in their lives. ?It was pretty clear that the people who were out there using their T were men,? says Jean, INTP. ?I valued my father?s role much more than my mothers.?

You don?t identify with girls and women.
?I never got along with my sister, who was sweet, lovable, and innocent ? mama?s pet,? says Julie, ESTJ. ?I teased the hell out of her and we fought all the time.?

Thinking girls, like Thinking boys, prefer competitive play and learning about how things work. But Thinking girls, unlike Thinking boys, often find themselves in the company of Feeling girls, where the talk and the play is non-competitive and concerned with how people work. And they don?t like it.

?I didn?t like ?girl talk? about movie stars and periods,? says Jan, ISTP. ?And even ?women?s talk? struck me as strange. I?d listen to my mother and aunts talk about how they dealt with problems with their husbands and families and I?d think, ?That?s so dumb, why would you do it that way???

?I thought the girls were kind of flitty,? says Julie, ESTJ. ?When people tell me things, I take it as a truth, but things were always changing with them, and I?d realize that they were talking about one of their feelings rather than a fact.?

You get criticized for being tactless and hard-hearted.
?Thinking is wonderful for work and study, for power and achievement,? says Madeline, INTP. ?But for any kind of affiliation, it?s not always helpful. I frequently got into trouble for putting truth over tact.?

?I gave riding lessons when I was young,? says Jan, ISTP. ?Once, one of the girls in my class asked me for help getting her stirrup fixed, and I told her to do it herself because I really wanted her to learn. ?Don?t you think you were kind of hard on her?? a friend said to me later. Now my son is taking violin lessons from an ISTP woman. I?m real satisfied with her, but I had to laugh when one of the other mothers said she dropped her because ?she was just mean.??

When a boy is tactless, parents can comfort themselves with ?Well, what do you expect from a boy?? When a girl is tactless, there is no such comfort. Thinking girls are likely to feel the full brunt of their parents? embarrassment at their remarks, or their parents? hurt if the criticism is directed at them. Fortunately, most T girls have pretty strong defenses against people?s opinions of them.

Thinking girls tend to concern themselves about people?s feelings in their adulthood, when they can see a good reason to do so.

You don?t date much in adolescence.
Thinking girls may not be popular with the opposite sex in the early dating years. The boys are unsure of themselves at that time and look for girls who will make them feel manly. Thinking girls, even when they are very good-looking and interested in dating, give boys the impression that they are going to be judged on their abilities and intelligence. Thinking girls usually have to wait until boys have more confidence in themselves to get asked out.

?I tended to intimidate the boys in high school,? says Janice, ESTP. ?Some of them told me later that they had been afraid to ask me out because I seemed aloof, like I thought I was too good for them.?

If they wanted to date in high school, Thinking girls usually hid their Thinking side. ?I never talked about anything intellectual when I was dating,? says Kim, ENTJ. ?I let the boys talk about themselves. I just needed to be loved and I liked the feeling of someone holding me.?

You can feel right at home with a T husband.
Marrying a Thinking man can be very liberating for a Thinking woman. In her own home, at least, she doesn?t have to feel like an oddball. But it can be good for her spouse, as well. Ruth Sherman did a study of 167 couples in 1981 and found that Thinking men living with Thinking women reported fewer problems in their marriages, and Feeling women living with Feeling men reported fewer problems.

?In my senior year, I met someone I really liked and I?ve been with him ever since,? says Julie, ESTJ. ?He was an ISTJ, and he allowed me to be me. He liked my thought patterns and I heard him when he talked.?

?There are only certain men that can get along with me,? says Kim, ENTJ. ?My husband (also a T) is one of them. He?s never intimidated by me and we have some terrific sparring on an intellectual level. Sometimes the two of us come home and think ?Are we the only people in the world who are sane???

But even with a Thinking man, there is still the possibility that the T woman may become so engaged in a career that her husband feels that he is secondary, and although women are prepared to feel that way in a marriage, men are not.

But you can learn a lot from an F husband.
Thinking women and Feeling men have the same conflicts as Ts and Fs everywhere. ?I?m married to an INFJ,? says Karen, ENTP, ?and we have problems helping each other when we?re down. When I?m down, he tries to tell me nice things to make me feel better about myself, like ?You?re sweet.? I don?t want to hear that. I want him to ask me questions and listen to me until I can figure out how to solve the problem. Then, when he?s down, I try to address his problems when all he really wants is warm assurance that he?s a valuable person.?

Besides the usual problems between Ts and Fs, Thinking women married to Feeling men may have a few more because of the confusion of their roles in the family. No matter how informed we may be about people and their differences, we all still have ideas of what our spouses ?should? do for us.

?I get very resentful when he won?t be assertive,? says Karen, ENTP. ?There are times when we reverse roles,? says Sue, ISTJ. ?For example, when we moved, my husband panicked and wanted to call an electrician in to hang the light fixtures. But I got out the ladder and the tools and put them all on with dimmers. I know our role reversals would bother me more if I didn?t know type.?

There are many times when Thinking women married to Feeling men think they are both better off because of the way they balance each other. ?I?m very career oriented,? says Dawn, INTJ, ?and I think that if I were married to a T we?d be like two ships passing in the night. But my ESFP husband keeps calling me back to our relationship. For my psychological health, I know I need relatedness, so I welcome his demands.?

You tend to compare yourself to Fs in motherhood.
Thinking women have an edge in motherhood about half the time, because about half the time children need an adult who can detach themselves from the emotions of the moment and look at things objectively.

?I really like the kind of mother I am,? says Jan, ISTP. ?I talk to the children in a respectful way. I?m fair, honest, and consistent about enforcing the rules. I can help them analyze their problems and see the consequences of what they do. If I went down a list of what makes a good parent, I could check most of them.?

?Listening has always been my strong point as a mother,? says Lucille, ENTP. ?I made a point to drop what I was doing and listen when my children needed to talk. I was good at helping them analyze their problems, and view them in a more positive light. And when they would get angry at me, I wouldn?t get angry back. I could stay calm and give them an opportunity to explain why they were upset.?

Even though Thinking and Feeling women have the same amount of natural talents for motherhood, nowhere is the temptation to compare yourself to Feeling women stronger than in the role of mother. Probably the biggest problem for Thinking mothers who work outside the home is the temptation to give so much to their careers that there isn?t enough left for their personal life. Finding a balance between work and family is especially tricky for them.

You find the greatest satisfaction in the work world.
In her work, the Thinking woman can point to actual products that she has created, to objective evidence of her skills. She can attach a dollar amount to her value. In fact, in an article published in volume 13 of The Journal of Psychological Type, on type and gender, Jean Stokes points out that without such healthy outlets for Thinking, it can become ?nagging, nit-picking, critical in extreme.?

?It wasn?t until my children were grown and I entered the business world that I really discovered my strength,? says Lucille, ENTP. ?I could finally let go and be analytical and objective and not always have to be thinking ?Will this offend someone???

?There?s no question in my mind that it?s more difficult to be a woman, even a Thinking woman, in the work world,? says Madeline, INTP. ?There?s an assumption that a woman is emotional, unreliable, fuzzy-thinking.

And in maturity, you realize you didn?t get such a bad deal.
In maturity, we hope that people will come to accept themselves for what they are. ?I?ve become more comfortable about being a T woman since I?ve been able to put a name on it and recognize that I?m a minority,? says Virginia, INTJ.

In maturity, we hope that people will have increased understanding and tolerance of the people who are different from them. ?I?ve come full circle with Feeling women and feel a sisterhood with them now,? says Jan, ISTP. ?I can understand and value the way they make decisions when I used to think they were dumb.?

In maturity, we hope that people will begin to develop the sides of their personalities that they didn?t develop in youth. In maturity, we hope that people will pass on what they have learned to the young, and by their example make it easier for the next generation.

In maturity, we hope that people will bring peace to some of the wars within themselves. In the case of Thinking women, that they will be able to see that perhaps they have had richer lives because they were ?different.?

The TYPE Reporter, Vol. 4, No. 6 & 7 written by Susan Scanlon

How We Make Decisions - Thinking or Feeling

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

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The third dimension of behavior in psychological type theory is how we prefer to make decisions - Thinking or Feeling.

Each behavior is on a continuum with a preference for one or the other, the degree of which falling somewhere along the continuum. A person could be a ?strong? Thinker or Feeler, meaning they would fall completely to the far left or right of the continuum. The research says that we are, however, one or the other, not both. Even though we use both preferences throughout our day in the Decision dimension, we don?t use each preference with equal ease. Our inborn preference is our natural strength and according to research we are born with a preference for one behavior over the other ? part of our DNA.

In the American population, 50% are Thinkers and 50 percent are Feelers. Of the Thinkers, about 65% are men, and of the Feelers, 65% are women.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Wheel

Thinking and Feeling describe the two ways people make decisions, or come to conclusions. Thinking and Feeling both describe rational decision-making processes. It?s not that Thinkers have no feelings, or that Feelers are incapable of logic, it?s just that they use very different criteria to make their decisions.

Thinkers make decisions more objectively, weighing the pros and cons. For Thinkers ? logic rules. When making a decision, Thinkers take a step back and analyze the situation, logically and impersonally, asking, ?Does this make sense? What are the pros and cons? What are the ramifications of the decision?? Thinkers objectify the decision.

Feelers make decisions based on how they feel about the issue and how others will be affected by it. Feelers inject themselves into the situation asking, ?How do I feel about this? How will it affect me and others? Is this the right thing to do? What are my personal values telling me to do?? Feelers personalize the situation.

Personal feelings and values are important to Feeling types and often they will go to great lengths to remain true to their beliefs. Thinkers are logical and analytical while Feelers are sensitive and empathetic.

It?s no surprise that preferences for Thinking or Feeling influence career choices. The helping professions attract large numbers of Feelers because this gives them an opportunity to fulfill one of their greatest needs, helping people. Feelers have a drive to understand others and receive satisfaction from assisting others in whatever way they can. Business and management attracts a lot of Thinkers because when it comes to being able to make a decision that is based on the bottom line and consider what?s best for the overall company, they can more easily make the decision and take action. Thinkers can step back from the decision, analyze it logically and come to conclusion based on what is best for the company. A Feeler usually steps forward, putting himself in the shoes of the individuals being affected within that company, and are strongly influenced by their own personal beliefs and values in making the decision.

Thinkers are often attracted to careers dealing with manufacturing, research and development. Thinkers are most satisfied with jobs where there is a minimum of employee caretaking and like working with other people that are as competent as they are. Thinkers place more emphasis on being truthful, even when it hurts feelings, than being tactful.

Feelers are naturally more attentive and concerned with other people because they have a strong need to be liked. This can be seen as being helpful and friendly and in practically every organization across the country, you can find the nurturer, the person whom coworkers go for emotional support and comfort. Whether appreciated by the company or not, these people provide a valuable service.

On teams, Thinkers are great at being able to size up a situation and put the necessary steps in place to accomplish the goal but it?s the Feelers that create the connection with others that allows the team members to function together, and get the job done ? because of feeling that their contribution to the team matters.

It?s very valuable for Thinkers and Feelers to work together. My preference for making Decisions is Thinking and I am often considered abrupt by others because of my ability to impersonalize an issue and consider the logical and possible consequences. My Feeling abilities are not well developed. I care greatly for people and desire to be of service and assistance to them, but I don?t come across that way. So, I rely on the Feeling people in my life to provide input for me when I?m weighing a decision that affects other people ? and practically every decision we make does affect others.

On the other hand, a dear friend of mine has a preference for making Decisions as a Feeler and calls on the phone to discuss situations in her life because of my ability to impersonalize and assist her in thinking of things she hadn?t considered because of her strong desire to connect with people and assist them at a personal level.

Probably one of the greatest contributions of ?type? in my life has been with the friendship of my dear ?Sister Paula.? Paula has a preference for Feeling and as I?ve already discussed, my preference in making Decisions is for Thinking. Paula tells me that once I introduced her to personality type and explained my type preferences, she was able to quit projecting her expectations of my behavior based on her own process. This knowledge has done wonders for our relationship.

When you factor in knowledge of personality type into your Decision making, it becomes clear that all of us need each other for the wealth of valuable contributions we offer in our business endeavors, family relationships and friendships. In fact, our differences just make us that much more valuable for the point of view and experience we are able to provide one another.

There are four behavior dimensions in personality type: how our Energy is focused, how we gather Information, how we make Decisions, and how we take Action. Decision is the third dimension and all four are equally important. Having knowledge and understanding of our preferences in each of the four dimensions of our associates and loved ones can profoundly affect the quality of our life and relationships.

“Give me the facts, maam…just the facts.”

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

When describing the decor of my home to a Sensor, I said things such as, ?the furniture is traditional with oriental accent pieces mixed in, the front yard has blue pots and a blue wrought iron fence.??

?From the front door entryway, what do you see,? asked the Sensor.? ?How wide is the front door?, and ?how deep is the entry??? ?Once inside the house, where is the living room??? ?How many steps until you reach the kitchen??? ?How many windows in the kitchen???

As an Intuitive, my description of the house was an overview of the general plan and scheme of the decor with such words as, ?contemporary mixed with Oriental theme?, ?rooms opening up into each other to give a feeling of freedom.? ?white carpet with bold accent colors.?

As an author of personalty-type training products and conductor of trainings, it is amazing to me when I have an experience such as this because it brings home to me how important it is to understand each other?s preference for giving and receiving Information ? as a Sensor or as an Intuitive.

I can honestly tell you that the Intuitive becomes impatient with the lengthy, factual and detailed descriptions.? And, I?m sure the Sensor becomes frustrated with the Intuitive?s broad stroke, overview and generalized description.?

During this conversation, I had to keep reminding myself, ?this is a Sensor and he cannot see the picture unless you give the facts and details.?

Thank goodness I understand this.? As I think back over my life prior to becoming involved so deeply in personality type theory, I am amazed that I was able to communicate with people at all and get my point across.? No wonder I had so many ?dead end? conversations with people.

Do yourself a favor ? learn everything you can about type theory and use it!? Your communications with your family, friends and co-workers will improve tremendously!

Personality Type and Careers

Sunday, August 21st, 2011

A thorough understanding of your personality type can be a tremendous guide that can help you to:

  • Choose a new job or career
  • Change your job or career
  • Increase your satisfaction with your present career

Your personality type can assist you in developing your career goals and establishing a process to reach those goals. When you use Side 1 of The PEOPLE Process Wheel to decide your four-letter type, you can study the Profile Sheet that is within the participant package for your type and gain a thorough understanding of your strengths ? your unique gifts.

The more you understand about yourself, the better your decisions will be and the more effectively you will be able to implement those decisions. Your personality preferences can help you decide what you want to do, how to approach that field and get what you want.

To briefly review, personality type theory was developed by Dr. Carl Jung in the early 1900s. Dr. Jung sought to explain the normal differences between healthy people. Jung espoused that the differences in people?s behavior was a result from people?s inborn tendencies to use their minds in different ways. As people act on these tendencies, they develop patterns of behavior.?

The PEOPLE Process Type Assessment Wheel

We have different energy levels, notice different aspects of the world around us, make decisions based on different criteria and structure our lives in different ways depending on what makes us most comfortable. These characteristics combine to create the whole personality. Dr. Jung identified four dimensions that make up our personality type ? and these are part of our DNA ? they are inborn traits.

The four dimensions are: Energy, Information, Decision, Action, and are used by us hundreds of times a day. Each dimension consists of two opposite poles. Picture each dimension as a continuum with a mid-point in the center. Each of us has a natural inborn preference (strength) for one side of the continuum or the other in each of the four dimensions.

Turn The PEOPLE Process Wheel to Side 2 and review how someone should treat you in the four windows that match your four letter type. This will give you insight into the types of work and surroundings that will be most fulfilling for you. For instance, if in the Energy behavior dimension you chose Introvert you will see that the way you prefer to be treated is:

  • Relate one-on-one
  • Value their need for privacy
  • Allow them time to change focus
  • Ask questions to draw them out
  • Do not pressure for an instant response

This tells you that you like to work alone and don?t need a lot of supervision. You?re great at putting things together behind the scenes.

However, if you chose Extravert in the Energy behavior dimension, you?ll find that you like to have a lot of interaction with others and you want them to:

  • Listen attentively
  • Be actively responsive
  • Be energetic & enthusiastic
  • Support their need to communicate
  • Recognize their need for social interaction

Extraverts like to be able to bounce ideas off of others and get immediate feedback. They would be very frustrated working all alone in a cubicle on a project by themselves.

In the Information behavior dimension, if you chose Sensing as your preference, you?ll find that you have skills in dealing with facts and details and when receiving information from someone you prefer that they:

  • Be orderly and organized
  • Show facts with evidence
  • Be direct and to the point
  • Draw on your experience
  • Be practical because you are

If you chose Intuition in the Information behavior dimension, you are terrific at coming up with creative solutions, marketing direction and ?out of the box? ideas and when receiving information you prefer they:

  • Give you an overview
  • Have a vision of the future
  • Appeal to your imagination
  • Encourage your need to explore
  • Allow for the expansion of ideas

When it comes to making a Decision, a Thinking person is logical, steps back and objectifies the decision, preferring to be treated this way:

  • Expect questions
  • Use logic
  • Be calm and reasonable
  • Be brief, concise, yet thorough
  • Present information for their analysis

A Feeling person personalizes decisions asking, ?How does this affect me and the people involved?? This person likes you to remember to:

  • Be honest and sincere
  • Be personal and friendly
  • Share with them your feelings
  • Encourage them to share their feelings
  • Allow them time to know and trust you

In the Action behavior dimension, the Judging person likes to control their environment and prefers that you:

  • Don?t disturb their order
  • Be prepared and deliberate
  • Value their time because they do
  • Finalize whenever & wherever possible
  • Take their deadlines seriously

And, the Perceiving person values spontaneity above all and prefers that you:

  • Be open to options & changes
  • Use variety in your approach
  • Let them set their own deadlines
  • Make use of their resourcefulness
  • Encourage possibility-thinking

Does this give you an idea of how to approach finding out your strengths and preferred way of being treated so that you can decide on the career that best suits you? Continue studying Side 2 of the Wheel, determining your strengths and preferred way of being treated by others. Once you have analyzed this information, identify the types of careers that include your preferences and strengths ? the way you like to be treated and are most comfortable.

On the flip side of the Profile Sheet that matches your four-letter type, are a few of the careers that are suited for your strengths. Take a look at these as they will give you a basis of thinking about and identifying other rewarding types of work.