The People Process: Understanding people is what it's all about.

Relationship Advice for Extraverts & Introverts

A couple of months ago, I spent eight days with a charming Extravert.? As an Introvert myself?having spent the past 23 years researching, teaching, and writing about personality type, I was very surprised?at the feelings and reactions that came up for me during these eight days.? It reminded me of how important it is to understand the Energy behavior dimension of personality type.

I?m not sure I?ve ever spent this much time with an Extravert ? eight days, from 6:30am to 9:00pm each day.? My husband, who is now deceased, was an Introvert and my parents and three siblings were Introverts with one brother being an Extravert.

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Don?t get me wrong.? I have tremendous respect and admiration for Extraverts.? They have?that wonderful ability to be at ease in all situations?that involve interaction with other people.? They can walk up to anyone with total ease and introduce themselves and not experience that ?gut wrenching? feeling that perhaps they?re annoying or interrupting someone.? Extraverts seem to exhibit a love for all mankind.? We Introverts feel that same love for all mankind, it?s just that we don?t?show it.? It?s all inside.?

By the end of this eight-day period I was exhausted from being ?on? all of the time.? The mistake I made was not taking time out for myself during the day to ?recharge? my batteries.? It took me several weeks to recover.? Adding to the intensity of the situation was the fact that I was just getting to know this individual which, of course, added to the energy drain.

I?m thankful for this experience, however, because it reminded me of how important it is, in fact vital, to understand the difference between Extraverts and Introverts and give ourselves permission to ?take care? of our energy.

Without this understanding you could think something is the matter with?each other?when, in fact, it is completely because of the differences in how you ?gather your energy.??

This knowledge is vital for couples to understand!? Many people marry without ever knowing about one another?s personality type and then are surprised when they have conflicts.? Most of the conflicts can be solved by applying a knowledge and understanding of one another?s type.

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